A text conversation after the Hawks won the Stanley Cup and Chicagoans took to the streets
Me: go hawks.
Tisher: We all share in this victory we earned. Bless us we are chosen to be blessed we deserve grace.
Me: Through this victory our misery is vindicated. We are now ready for the judgement of Yahweh.
Tisher: We stand naked and judged. Trembling and righteous and ready to be cradled in God's arms. We were so good at sports tonight, every last one of us.
Me: Stripped of superficial meaning our lives finally have purpose. The sports win tonight unites us in a universal truth. We are all cavemen driven by triumph.
Tisher: I am so happy about this win I'm going to personally walk into a Taco Bell and burn it to the ground.
Me: To celebrate this oneness of the human race I will spray puke on 20 members of the Chicago Board of Trade.
Tisher: I am going to throw a full can of beer into the face of a horse with a cop riding it.
Me: I will rip the brassieres from many hapless women who are confined by the stifling patriarchy which this sports win has overthrown.
Tisher: We are all brothers tonight. All white Chicagoans share this victory.
No comments:
Post a Comment